In how many directions is it tipping?

In trauma, there / then disrupts (the possibility of) being here / now.
It was (is) too much, too fast
overwhelmed systems shut down, space out, keep vigil

In tipping utopia, do the pieces slide together, fall off, collide, crash, crumble?
Just come closer?
How steep is the incline?

Does tipping utopia add an impact to here / now?
Does getting back to there / then become an uphill battle?

Now which one is the struggle?
Dwelling in between those places Is it more effort to climb back up?
Or emerge from the rubble?
Figure out being in closer proximity Reconfiguring spaces, salvaging what is not broken, cleaning, clearing, building
When climbing back to there / then, will there be a view? Of what?
Can we fall / slide back down?
What happens when you hang on, or drop off? In how many directions is it tipping?

You are a luxury item

You are a luxury item, a silky flower, a glowing piece of furniture, YES you are an art piece, a lover, a kind and strange mystic—a dancer, a ponderosa dancer for 18 years, you who dances in the shimmering light, the goddess of our ancestors— you hold a key to get into your body into all of our bodies- we should all be dancing- shouldn’t we?

Who is we?

YOU are something to be lived.

You are something to be feared.

You are anticipating the apocalypse

You are already in

You are anticipating the utopic future?

You are Making that happen

You are already here and there

You are told to wait

You are told to do something now

You are told it is not happening

You are asking again and again

your running monologue is….. what the hell am I doing
and then you ask, in a loud angry voice!
what are WE doing?

then WE get into trouble!

We – we,we, we

how can WE get through the day?

WE are tearing apart the WE word?

You can not be with your neighbors

You can not make decisions in your own political party

you need privacy

you need to move away from disrespect, sexism, addiction, racism, fascism, scientism, dancism, etc. etc . Etc.

you are so evolved- and so uneducated at the same time

you need more data

you need to disengage from some and warn others

YOU need to love just the one and the only one and so on?

what about the WE of humanity?

ALARM!!!! beep beep beep beep beep

WE are dancing here

WE are cooking here

WE are swimming In clean lakes here

WE are eating vegan cakes

WE are supposed to heal

WE are working so hard to heal

WE also talk a lot, read a lot, shit a lot

WE are in trauma

WE can not act accordingly, appropriately

WE are not in sync

WE are global

WE are too big to hold

WE are still human

WE go back, thousands of years

WE can not go back and undo our damage

WE planted some fields

WE wanted to survive

WE are in still in survival mode

WE find, there are no more nuts to gather

WE are calculating our damage

WE are spending money on healers

WE let yoga rule the economy

YOU let yoga rule the economy

WE call it fake, we believe it is fake

WE fake heal with our fake news

WE go to hospitals

WE take drugs

WE tip on the wrong side

WE eat fake meat

WE feel fake moments of intimacy

WE eat that too

WE believe all of this fake exists

WE believe difference exists

WE are undigested

WE can not eat that wheat

WE are we, who are not really managing

tomorrow I will not take offense

tomorrow I will look at you with kindness in my eyes

tomorrow I can engage with the economy

buy the right products

build my edible forest

retreat from the politics and the cars

tomorrow is now and yesterday

abundance is here

small acts are happening


lets stay here together

by our meat next door

lets say thanks for that

thanks for moments of utopia

yesterday I had a good lunch,
yesterday I touched your back
yesterday I walked with my eyes closed and you held my hand.

let’s say thanks for that.

70 seconds of love and rage

The 70 seconds of love and rage sessions will be happening this summer at Ponderosa. Here’s an introduction.

I am sure you have something to say!

Good bad lovely ugly

70 second rants can cross, slash and tip through our annual performance marathon at ponderosa, and it can be about ponderosa or how we branch into the world at large. Everyone needs a platform for a mini rant! We invite you to whisper or yell about the echos, misconceptions & derailed utopias?

latent optimism? Rainbows & garden/BODY life?

CO-well meaning institutions? messy art ? Angry hungry people?

See you this summer…


A poem for 2019, by Steph

fuck the animals
eco sex
art bees
lots of dirty dancing and funerals
garden as stage-
step up and plant your own tomatoes
tipping utopic ideologies
we are what we are not anymore
ponderosa too!22222222222
to continue
navigating the soft patrarchy
killing each other softly
birthday singalongs
bury me
conscious loving servers, sex slaves and tree huggers welcome